Homily on the Wedding of Carter and Vanna; 10 May 2025, Mary the Queen Parish, San Juan
“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you.”
I guess many of you would agree with me that homilies delivered on weddings are usually centered, if not confined, to a list of “what to do” and “what not to do.” When I met Carter and Vanna last March for an interview, I immediately realized that they would not really need a homily like that on their wedding day since as true friends, both of them have already excelled in most of what should be in that “To do list”.
“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you.” These are the words Jesus said to his disciples, hours before he sealed his spousal love for the Church with the shedding of his blood on the cross.
When I asked Vanna and Carter to list down separately at least five of the most memorable events in their life, both of them mentioned the moments they were together. They could still vividly recall their first date on Sept 11, 2023. When the world was commemorating the crushing of two hijacked planes on the World Trade Center of the US, on that same day two love birds previously crushed by a broken relationship, finally met the true love that will make them whole again.
According to Carter he had waited and prayed for seven years until Vanna suddenly came, and after another three months of getting to know each other, finally “naging SILA.”
However a major trial immediately came upon them making a sharp twist in their love story. Just within a span of nine days after they became “SILA” a different kind of Sept 11 suddenly happened. A life threatening illness crush landed on Carter, and diagnosis of the doctors was Leukemia. How did they try to resolve this crisis?
Hours after Carter got confirmation of his AML in Singapore, he told Vanna in a video call something that sounded so incredibly selfless. He said that he did not want her to feel obligated to stay in the relationship, for he did not want her to carry the burden of responsibility.
And how did Vanna react after hearing those words? Did she agree and walk away saying “Ah okay. Sige magpagaling ka muna, ha. I’ll pray for you”? No, not at all. Surprisingly, she did not give in to the temptation of a break up or a cool off until further notice. I believe what she saw in her boyfriend was not a burden, but rather a blessing. I beg your indulgence to allow me to read to you the exact words she wrote on her journal.
Vanna said, It dawned on me then that even with the huge shocking news of his diagnosis and everything going on with his body, he (Carter) was still prioritizing me and making sure that I would choose what was best for me, regardless of what that would mean for him. …he was being selfless and thinking about how I would feel. So I told him that his getting cancer was not how things would end between us; we would do everything we could to get him to recover fully, and I would be by his side no matter what.” Isn’t this what selfless love is all about, on the part of both the bridegroom and the bride seated right here before us?
How they resolved their crisis, I believe, is a very concrete application and a very inspiring exemplification of what Jesus said in the Gospel, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Remain in my love…” In fact Jesus would also add at the end of his teaching. “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you.”
The way Carter has loved Vanna, and similarly, also the way Vanna has loved Carter is precisely the way Christ has loved – us not for one’s own comfort, pleasure and satisfaction, but rather – selflessly, that is, for our own well-being and redemption from sin. In fact during the last three years of his public ministry, he served the needs of the poor, the sick and the afflicted, not for one day, not for one week, not for one month, not for one year only but all the days and years of his remaining life, until the end. A love like that can’t but be selfless, faithful and fruitful, 100% human and 100% divine.
Because of this I would like to think that such was also the kind of love Vanna and Carter saw in their respective homes as they were growing up, in their parents’ spousal and conjugal love for each other. And so today we ourselves will witness how Carter and Vanna will celebrated that faithful and unconditional love in this Sacrament of Matrimony, promising to stay in that love all the days of their lives saying the words “in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, until death do us part.”
Let us pray that the Lord may bless abundantly their one love, not only with kids, happiness and countless material gifts, but most especially with the spiritual blessings of fidelity and fruitfulness with which Christ loved the Church.
Finally as we give thanks to the Lord for granting the Church a new Pope after the heart and mind of Christ the Good Shepherd, allow me to borrow the words our newly elected Pope Leo XIV said to the Cardinals during his first homily in the Vatican “To move aside so that Christ may remain, to make oneself small so that he may be known and glorified.”
Carter and Vanna, today you will no longer be two but you will be made one. Christ, who during the wedding at Cana transformed water into wine, will make you one in himself. And so from now on the love you will offer to each other will no longer be yours, but it will be Christ’s. Always be aware therefore that you are now the living sacraments of Christ’s love for each other. And you are also to be Christ’s living sacraments to the poor and the needy. Every now and then, try “to move aside so that Christ may remain, (try) to make oneself (yourselves) small so that he may be known and glorified. GiGsss!